Hold your hand everday

As the pandemic continues.  We are still in lockdown.  Life continues to be on a different path.  Real life physical human beings I see; my husband of coarse, I live with him and so very grateful we have not only been lovers since 1982 but best friends.  My nurses; to tend to my gastrostomy tube, change dressings, etc, etc.  And see anyone from a distance at the door when they deliver parcels and mail.

Modern technology has saved my sanity.  Steve and I having a long lie on Sunday morning, it’s 9am and my mobile telephone has that distinctive ring.  I know it’s a FaceTime call.  Simultaneously Steve and I say know who that will be.  I click the phone and can hear the joyous tones.  ‘Morning, what are you doing in your Bed Granny’?  ‘Having a got chocolate’ is my reply.  We are having a three way conversation between our house (Steve & I) , Stuart & Alexandra, and Teeny & Grace.  It’s fab, we all blather loudly, the girls can’t believe we are still in bed. It’s Sunday, I say in my defence.  They have us laughing.  Along the hall we can hear the dogs.  They can obviously hear the girls talking and they are excited.  Can we see Buddy and Bella please.  I toddle Along the hall.  Bella is actually smiling.  They are pleased to hear the kids.  Morning Bella Boo, Morning, Buddy Boy, says Alexandra, miss you,  the labradors tails start to wag frantically.  Grace calls on Frieda the cat.  Alexandra asks ‘Granny can you go out the back and say morning to Birdie please’.  I go see the beautiful black lionhead rabbit.  The girls are ever so happy.  Right that’s enough I say, granny is wiped out now.  I sit on the seat at the table very happy and blether away .  I maybe can’t see them all in the flesh, however a video call like this makes the world worth living.   We all chat say what’s been happening and what the plans for the day are.

Both girls had plans to play in gardens.  Alexandra said she was going to be drawing and colouring in later.  Grace was going to be playing games.

 

Hold my hand and Smile Each And Everyday

Alexandra drew round her hand in her notebook,  she tore out the page.  Left the page for me with the drawing.  She said I can hold her hand anytime.  She said on a FaceTime call to me Granny I would just love to hold your hand everday

 

D5608B24-7817-4587-8FBD-6137A3D0E4DB

 

I was so chocked up, it’s difficult to believe Alexandra has just turned 4 years of age.

At this difficult time in this crazy world we need to be grateful for what we have.  Make the most folks.

Alexandra and Grace:

Such Kindness over the Easter Weekend

As we all know and expected this Easter Weekend is somewhat very different.  With most of us being in isolation and being asked to stay at home.  I expected to feel lonely and miss the activities that I had been expecting to do and the people I was looking forward to seeing. However, there were a few folk that did some very nice act of kindness towards myself, Steve and my labs which made me feel very special, loved and happy.  Certainly not lonely at all.

 

Just before Good Friday, my nurse was in to service my gastrostomy tube and change my dressings.  As well as check on my well being, and see how I am doing.  As my nurse was leaving that day she left an Easter card for Steve and I and doggie treats for Buddy and Bella – all in a lovely Easter bag.

 

I got a special FaceTime from my 4 year old granddaughter Alexandra to let me know she had drawn pictures for us.  She had done a special rainbow for our window and would post it through our door.  Her dad sent a text of her holding the picture.  I was so excited to get it.  Words cant explain how much we miss seeing her,  She usually visits every weekend and when you are used to seeing a grandchild on this regular timing, this lockdown period feels like lifetime.  She is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  I was in hospital for 12 weeks with sepsis and hardly saw anyone however I felt poorly and had no sense of time on many days.  This is different.  However, with the technology we have and keeping a positive attitude we can get through this.  Chatting on FaceTime and sharing what we have done throughout the day makes me smile, we laugh and sing, I just love my FaceTime time.

 

 

9AB2EDD9-A754-4A64-9B57-C05E519F9DC5

 

 

 

 

We have had a relaxing Easter weekend.    Writing, gardening (for Steve) some tv and lovely quality time together with the labs.  I was in the Wetroom putting on my creams when I heard Bella ‘friendly barking’ so I ignored her.  Half an hour later I went through to the kitchen to put on my feed.  As I reached for the pump I noticed my mobile phone had several notifications.  As I sat down to read them, I noticed one was a message from Danielle.

Danielle has been my friend for at least 23 years.  We have been through a lot together.  I know if I message Danz and ask can you please come here she will come.  I have been there for Danielle emotionally and I know she will be there for me.  Again I am so grateful for technology so we can chat ad text.  So what did the message say?  It said.  “I’ve  left something at your front door xxxx”. What was left?

 

The most beautiful canvas, of course it is zebras.  And cakes for uncle Steve.  He will love them.  Tonight I will light one of Natalie ’s candles and give her an extra special thought, not that she is ever far rom my mind.

A massive thank you to my special people this weekend, you are what keeps me going.  You all know me and what makes me tick.  Why, perhaps its because I love you guys let you into my heart and you know what makes me happy.

Why zebra?  Neuroendocrine cancer is rare.  Zebras are rare.  When doctors are getting trained they are told

  • when you hear hoofbeats.
  • Look for horses not zebras

Many charities and people with net cancer adopt the zebra as their mascot.

 

My beautiful rainbow picture all coloured in.  Up in my window showing with pride.

 

 

Natalie Ann’s Candles

 

44CA3737-01EB-4325-A025-C172C6F68640

Keeping Me Company

As we know the  restrictions  on the UK during Covid-19  

are continuing over the Easter weekend and well into the rest of April.  Although I’m missing my visitors coming to the house I have been enjoying the FaceTime calls and many texts and emails I’ve been getting.  The messages really keep me going and cheer me up.

So who do I see?  Who was keeping me company.  My only visitors are my nurses; they come to check on me, service my gastrostomy tube, change my dressings and administer my octreotide treatment every 14 days.   I live with my hubby,  and our two labradors, Buddy and Bella.  Buddy is a great help he knows when my sugar level is low, or  when my heart rate is playing up.  Buddy and Bella are two beautiful labradors Buddy is a stunning fox red and Bella is a lovely little yellow lady.  They are husband and wife; We have bred them together twice and had 21 babies.  They are wonderful company, give the best cuddles.  Im glad the dogs do give the best hugs at the moment,  its a really weird time.  Even my own home surroundings that are so familiar can feel very alien and so damn well lonely a lot of the time.  I’m so pleased I’ve got my hubby and dogs at home and my regular face timers, phone callers and folks that text and email otherwise I would be feeling like if I didn’t die of Coronavirus I may die of a broken heart or loneliness.

 

IMG_0942

 

One of our nurse’s has taken a shine to our labs and gave them an Easter present.  They were chuffed.

That reminds me I better get something for my loyal lab’s Easter and order their food on https://rcm-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?o=2&p=13&l=ur1&category=amazon_business&banner=1F498HGV07F7YKE5JQG2&f=ifr&linkID=921d9025bcbdbe51885c15afeab9a0a8&t=smileeachande-21&tracking_id=smileeachande-21” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>Amazon

 

The one thing the dogs and I love is listening to music in the kitchen.  We just say Alexa play “a certain playlist” from Amazon Music . Bella is a dog that likes to sing, Buddy is a dog that likes to dance.  They really are amusing and great company.

Right now there is a special offer for three months on the subscription.  Click on the link below to see.

https://rcm-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?o=2&p=48&l=ur1&category=amazon_music_bounty&banner=1S7QPRHBCK6W9HRPHV82&f=ifr&linkID=1dffa2c820211d5fd70cd355e422e3f0&t=smileeachande-21&tracking_id=smileeachande-21” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>amazon music

 

We’re all Jock Tamson’s Bairns

As the time of the restrictions of the coronavirus goes on not only here in the UK but in a great many countries all over the world.  We have all had to get used to for the time being a different way of life.  Here in the UK we are still in lockdown.  Shops, restaurants, pubs close.   Work places cannot function as they once did.  Schools, colleges and universities have closed their doors to students and staff.  Many personal services can no longer take place; such as hair cuts and styling, nail manicuring, tanning.

 

As someone with carcinoid syndrome   things changed for me quite some time ago and I  had to learn to deal with many issues.  I have had to make many adjustments.  My skin has changed, I have to deal with horrendous flushes, etc.  Whilst I still love to wear make up, dye my hair, etc I have to be careful for reactions.  Looking back as a youngster I can remember pinching my mothers food colouring to dye my hair when I had ran out of money to buy the real McCoy and making sure the earrings matched the colour of the nail polish,  that co-ordinated the hand bag and shoes.  Well I was more of a Dr Martens  student, although I did like to wear the decorative ones, give a bit of colour to my life.

 

The one thing I have never been into is wearing any ‘add ons’ – getting my nails manicured and polished and painted a pretty colour for a special occasion yes.  Acrylics on me? No – just never been the done thing.  Hair extensions are something that have came a long way in the last few years.  And to be honest they look so good and natural you would never know where the natural hair ends and the ‘fake’ hair starts.  And as for any other body enhancements, young women placing an implant in their bra, such as a  chicken fillet insert to make them look on the larger side and give them that extra lift.  In the seat of their pants too bum boosters.  for that additional filling on the rear end.  I’m blessed with olive skin and don’t feel the need for fake tan

 

As a woman who brought up two lads I didn’t have make up,  nail polish, make up, hair extensions, bra, etc requests in our household.  We did have lots of aftershave, mousse and wax for hair styling, and hair dye.

 

In the evening hubby and I find ourselves sitting blethering about our day just the same as we normally we do.    On one of our evening chats we had a discussion about how much time has been spent on screens and the pros and cons of this.  We have been really grateful of the smartphones we both own, the fact that we can FaceTime our friends and family.  If I am going to be in the house for 12 weeks with the garden for light exercise and the only physical people I see are Steve and my nurses I cannot thank enough the progress of technology that has allowed us to move forward and video talk on a call.  On Sunday when my hubby was cleaning our Harley Davidson and I was doing my favourite job of saddle soaping the leather panniers we had a FaceTime call and the 4 year old granddaughter, Alexandra that is mad keen on motorcycles, virtually started the Harley Davidson Fat boy.  She got to hear the roar of the pipes.  And to see the big smile on her face made my day.  As we discussed screen time we went on to discuss social media and what we had seen on it over the last day or so.  My husband had been perplexed and annoyed with the folk that were generally yapping about nothing.  I said to him its simply boredom with people, they have nothing better to write or they are hiding behind their status and making out everything is FINE.

 

What really got us was the folks worrying about breaking their nails and not being able to get to the nail bar…… the hair extensions falling out…….roots coming in and the fear that everyone will see their hair colour (well I hate to tell you, you have just told us, if you hid in your house, and didn’t put a status up no-one would know)………    We have started to see status’s on facebook and people tweeting about their appearance or rather what they believe the lack of it.  They are worrying about what they look like even when there is people fighting for their lives in intensive care.  One of the nicest stories I heard this week was a young family talking, Mum in her late forties was doing the talking, got to admit she looked like she had just got out of bed and it was lunchtime, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater, no make up and no fancy hair do, the kiddies were still in their onesies; Mum was telling the tale of how nice it was to work from home, not feel pressurised to get dressed up and be able to wear the same set of clothes the next day.  Oh and have a day off from make up.

 

I remember a time when I was a bairn and played free, skipped to my lou and sang songs, didn’t bother if there was make up on, what size of breasts or bum someone had.  Yes, its great to take pride in our appearance, however we have to be careful not to become self obsessed.  What we have to remember is  we are all human beings with similar skin and hair.  As the saying goes We’re all Jock Tamson’s Bairns

 

 

baby s feet on brown wicker basket
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com