Angry at the carcinoid syndrome diagnosis?

Life for everyone can be challenging. We all find the hum drum of daily living difficult at some point in our lives. When I was studying at university right out of high school gosh I thought life was difficult, when in fact it was actually pretty easy and straightforward. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then my goodness. I’m married, have children, grandchildren, have enjoyed happy times, went through some sad experiences, proudly gained my PhD, and most definitely feel loved. I feel I was brought up fairly well and I have a glass full attitude to life and always try and look on the bright side. On meeting someone for the first time I treat them as a genius and work backwards and always have a “book and cover policy” – you never know what goes on behind closed doors or what is hiding behind that lovely smile. Although I am fairly level headed human and like the lion I am feel I can deal with anything, nothing prepared me for the day I went into the consultation room to be told I had carcinoid syndrome and it was incurable. Am I angry at the carcinoid syndrome diagnosis?

When I heard the words incurable, I first felt like I hit a brick wall. My stomach churned, after a few moments of the conversation with the consultant that day the remainIng words were not communicating with my ears and the journey home was a blur. But as time went on, getting medical treatments, ongoing management of my incurable condition. Surgery to get a gastrostomy feed. I decided to use my writing to promote awareness of Net cancer and carcinoid syndrome. I find writing helps me get through the day, it helps me relax, encourages me to take photographs, I read about other subjects. All in all, my mind gets flooded with new information and I totally enjoy being creative looking at life from a different angle. I found a way to deal with my illness. At first yes I felt rather upset and confused now I am not annoyed or angry at all. I believe getting a diagnosis has given me the coping mechanism; it has made me the person I am today. I have learnt what is important, especially things like keeping in touch with people, showing emotion and saying I love you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s