Memorable month of March

We are only half way into the month of March and already it has been filled with emotion. Despite feeling very unwell, burst balloon in my gastrostomy tube, more district nurse visits than normal at home; I have spent time with all 4 of my siblings, we have pulled together and gave the love back that was showered upon us as we grew up. February was difficult and March became emotional, in this year 2021 I certainly will not forget this month, with so many memories – most definitely a memorable month of March.

Just a few weeks ago my Daddy Bear admitted he wasn’t feeling too good. Mid February, we brought a bed downstairs and the GP came to his home to see him. My sister, Hazel and I were there. The news from the GP wasn’t good and Dad didn’t have long; she reckoned a couple of weeks. The GP arranged for the District Nurses to come in to Dad. They would visit every morning and then assess how often the visits on top. As one of five we arranged a timetable so Dad need never be alone. He had constant care. The team of district nurses were fabulous, their care second to none. The support they offered was outstanding, they brought endless supplies. Our uncomplaining Father they said was a privilege to care for. They also commented on what a superb system we had in place for looking after ‘our Bertie’

The service from the NHS we can not fault. The District nurse thought it would be a good idea to get a hospital bed for Dad, he would be more comfortable on an air Mattress and it would be easier and safer to attend to him with adjustable height and the ability to raise his head, etc. Nurse Wendy telephoned for the bed at 11am, it got delivered at 2pm that day, and the nurses came at 2.20pm to transfer Dad from his own bed to the hospital bed at home. Service with a smile.

When I was home and getting treated by my district nurse, she asked how I was and how I was coping – we had a good chat. In the conversation I mentioned where my Dad lived and the area the District Nurses covered. My nurse knew the nurses personally. She had worked with them and commended their great work, she told me my Pops was in excellent hands and they would take great care of him. And that they certainly did.

The district nurses, Mari and Wendy asked if we would like extra nursing help. This came in the way of Marie curie Nurses. They were amazing. Came in twice a day to care after Dad. Nothing was too much trouble for the delightful angels that came to assist with Dad’s care. However, they not only looked after our Father, it was very apparent they were there for us too.

Knowing Dad didn’t have long left on earth I wanted to treasure every moment I could with him. With my health I’m not normally up and ready to go first thing in the morning. And during current restrictions I have been home and not seeing anyone. However, this situation put a different light on things and gave me an inner strength. I would get up in the morning, take off my night feed, get into the Wetroom and get myself ready to go to see my Dad. Getting washed is one of the most essential exhausting activities for me. Turning on the shower, getting washed, sitting on my stool, looking down at my bright red flushed feet. Getting washed exhausts me and brings on a carcinoid syndrome flush. Right from the tip of my feet, all the way up my legs, over my trunk, up my neck, leaving me with a bright red face. My heart thumping; I can hear it banging in my ears. I lie on the floor till it calms down. Meanwhile my skin begins to dry. I climb up on the stool and get myself dressed. Put on my creams, including my Dundee cream. I go to the sitting room where hubby, Steve has done all my meds. Take them for the morning. Put on my feed. Sit for a rest to get some energy built up. And then all set to go to spend some time with my amazing Dad. My brother Albert will be there in the morning too to meet up with the nurses along with me.

We only got just over one week to care for Dad. It was the most precious time and a privilege to be part of. I thank the lord for blessing me with enough stamina to go to the folks; our family home, and be with Dad in his last days. The love I have for my parents pushed me to go on. After the love, security and safe feeling my parents surrounded me with I would give them it back ten fold.

The love and dependability my parents gave me always made me feel safe at home. This is something I have always strived for. To make sure my children feel safe and secure and that they can always come home. After Dad passed away these words struck a heart string or two:

Sometimes I feel lost

You too?

Remember I love you, and

Love brings you home

Who was our Dad? He was a caring, loving and kind Dad, husband, Grandad, Great Grandad, brother and uncle. He would give us kids his last. For Dad his family is everything. He taught us well, brought us up grand and fair. He worked very hard and built up his own business. We always had a car and we were the first folk in the street to have a tv. Mum was the love of Dads life, they loved to travel and enjoyed many trips abroad, including their beloved Germany, especially the Rhineland. They loved to take trips in the car , taking the grandkids out on adventures. When Mum died Dad gave up driving, he said he no longer had a co pilot to go out on journeys with him. Dad never got over Mum’s death, like me he just learned to live with it. Our folks not only provided a loving secure home for us five, but offered our children, and their children a place to come whenever they needed. They welcomed our friends, Mum chatted to them, offering a sympathetic ear and Dad could be found in the kitchen making a sandwich or ten. When it came to parents I reckon we hit the jackpot.

Dad picking plums at mine

It is going to take me some time to as they say get my mojo back. When alone I find myself thinking of something that reminds me of my very happy childhood, or the assistance as I went to university, having my children, moving home, going into hospital, getting treatment, need I go on… and I am reminded of all the happy times I have had with my folks and then the sudden realisation that this will never happen again. My heart sinks and I am filled with dreaded fear. I have to believe that my folks are at peace, I was well and truly loved and so very privileged to call Helen and Albert my parents.

If I feel upset I am not afraid to cry.

Tears fall for

a reason and

They are

Your

Strength

Not

Weakness

My Mum & Dad at Bellahouston Park, Glasgow

The folks in the hot tub

Mum and Dad’s Diamond Wedding Anniversary

Helen, Albert, Hazel

Brian, Dad, Mum, Me

World Cancer Day 2021

I’m pretty sure that most of us have been affected by cancer at some time in our lives, either by living with the disease, helping someone through it, or maybe its an acquaintance, but affected you more than you thought it would. Whatever your involvement with the word cancer and the illness, it impacts the lives not only of the person that physically has the diagnosis but those around them. As someone that has had the word cancer in their life for quite some time, the diagnosis in many people, although it has taken the life of such wonderful people today is a day for positivity today is World Cancer Day 2021

When many of us sit in a consultation room and gets a cancer diagnosis it can be like hitting a brick wall and your world can go in a turmoil, everything can become a blur and life may never be the same again. Some cancer journeys are fairly short and others are a long hard slog, whilst there are unfortunately some that are managed with palliative care. Wherever the road takes you its always a memorable one and easier if you have someone to share it with.

Family and friends are fabulous they listen, help you, take you to appointments, etc. And are a great shoulder to cry on. However, we have to remember they are affected to and need escapism. Sometimes its good to talk to a complete stranger. Or at least what starts of as a stranger. When you are going through a cancer journey please reach out and talk. Talk about your feelings, don’t leave them in the box and feel strangled and down. Charities such as Maggies Cancer Care, Marie Curie offer volunteer facilities where someone will chat to you, other places do this service too, ask your oncologist, consultant, doctor, GP or nurse for advice. Even if you are too unwell to go and meet up, or as we are at present in these restrictions due to covid; arrangements can be made to chat on the phone. Believe me it really helps. It certainly doesn’t have to be on the nature of how are you feeling?, but can be if you want it to be. Conversation can be light hearted. Just because you have a serious illness doesn’t mean you need to have a serious conversation; you are still allowed to laugh. Its lovely to build up a relationship with someone and have trust in them that you can talk and say things and that it will go no further. Not feel guilty for what you say. Feel good for laughing. Share stories.

Whatever the cancer journey its usually an emotional one as well as a physical one. Most certainly one we couldn’t do without the help of the wonderful oncologists, consultants, doctors, scientists, nurses, volunteers, researchers, drug companies, charities, etc. For their amazing hard work and dedication I would like to thank them. What certainly keeps me going is positivity and keeping that frown upside down by making sure I smile each and every day.

Pick up the phone – Its good to talk

Well one month into 2021 already. Its just turned February. For some its a dark month and many folks find it a lonely difficult time, with thoughts and reflections going through our minds. This year we are still in restrictions, a great deal of people have jumped from one personal crisis to another. There has been so many difficult situations for our fellow human bean to cope with over the last year; we have been tested in more ways than one. I have known a fair number of family and friends who have over the last year fought life threatening coronavirus. During this pandemic many people have faced fear, anxiety, poverty, hardship, social isolation, unemployment, etc.  Now is the time to take notice of who has been helping who, and most importantly does anyone need help. Remember when we used to pop in for a quick chat, or go out for that drink, meet up at lunch time, or a run on the bikes. That person is possibly lonely a missing seeing everyone and could do with a jolly good chat. Do yourself a favour and as the scout or girl guide leader would say do your good deed for the day; Pick up the phone – its good to talk

I think we can all agree that this has been an unusual year.  It has been a difficult time for everyone at some time and we have all be faced some sort of challenge and uncertainty.  I don’t think anyone thought we would still be facing these kind of restrictions in 2021.  Covid-19 has dominated our lives and health.   The NHS and the care staff have taken good care of us since the start. They are dedicated and like true troopers put patients before themselves, work long hours; doing their best to make us feel as comfortable and secure in these strange and difficult circumstances.

From my personal experience my team of medics all the way through this pandemic have been ultimate superstars. My net specialist emails in between appointments to check up on me, make sure how I am doing. My nurses come in to my home changing my dressings, changing the water in my gastrostomy tube weekly, administer my octreotide treatment at home fortnightly, change my entire gastrostomy tube every 8 weeks (however due to problems such as infections, burst balloons, etc its been happening after 5 weeks, 1 week, 3 weeks). My nurses will also come to my home if I have any problems. They are wonderful; my net specialist telephoned me last week when he was on the phone he commended the nurses and said the work they did and how well they looked after me, helping keep the amount of infections down and most certainly assisted in keeping me out of the hospital. The amazing supportive Community Enteral Nutrition Team (CENT) call me regularly. Usually Kat or Marion visit me every two months. They weigh me, check on my peg feed and we discuss how my feeding regime is going. We talk about my quality of life, what is going on with my appointments, my body and everything thats going on in my life. They are very supportive and always at the end of a phone. I can pick up the phone and give them a call any day, if they can’t pick it up and talk to me when I call. Their secretary June will answer, take a message and one of them will call me back, chat with me and sort out any problem that may be going on. They report to my dedicated Net specialist (The Prof), my hard working GI consultant, who works hand in hand with the Prof, and my GP. Letting them know if anything needs changed, such as my frequency of feed, etc. Remember my GI consultant, he is the chap who did the creative drawing when he kindly saw me bang in the middle of covid restrictions and did a wee procedure when my gastrostomy tube fell further into my intestines than it should have. He has to have sense he has labradors.

For some people this will have been a long and lonely year. For others it will have gone quickly and nothing much will have changed other than the physical restrictions, such as supermarkets, going from one district to another, closure of shops, establishments, etc. This time last year I was looking forward to going to Dunedin Chapter’s AGM meeting and annual dance; this is the Harley-Davidson® club that my husband and I belong to. The AGM was actually the last meeting we all got together for an official meeting. Now that the vaccine is getting rolled out, you never know…………. I miss the blether, the friendships, get togethers. However, right now its for our own good, and we have to wait until the appropriate time. A while longer to make sure we are safe is better in the long run. So in the meantime be content with sharing a conversation on social media or a text, email and most definitely a natter on the phone. When director of Dunedin Chapter Scotland HOG® #9083, Stewart Willox phones me and says I won’t keep you Elizabeth, and we are still blethering 20 minutes later. I’m sure the poor chap’s ears are bleeding.

I have been very fortunate over the last year and would like to says thanks to the folks that have kept me going, I wrote an earlier post on being thankful for my smartphone and posts being grateful of support during this pandemic. However, I would like to echo this and let everyone know I more than appreciate the texts (yes minister friend Janice, even the early morning Prayers), WhatsApp’s, emails, social media messages; every piece of contact helps prevent the feeling of loneliness, it makes me appreciate what I have – a circle of human beings around me that care. I so love the photos I receive in texts of my grandchildren, it brightens my life and lightens my heart. Marion and Tony send me the most beautiful photos of Luna, she was born in lockdown, we were privileged to see her Christmas Day and have only seen her via technology since, thank goodness for gadgets. We have round robin texts between Tony, Stuart, Marion, Laura and Myself; all checking in, keeping up with the news and sharing photographs. Pre lockdown both my sons were at our house regularly and our home filled with laughter and cheer. Now our lads call regularly, they FaceTime with the kids which is fabulous, I get time to talk to the boys and chat away with the babes. Nearly 5 year old granddaughter Alexandra loves chatting away at anytime. See how they are developing, here all their news. Never tire of hearing their news, listening to Tony telling of his uni work, and whats going on in the world of government policy at Edinburgh University , or chatting with Stuart as he drives home from a hard shift at the hospital where we talk about all sorts. My sister Hazel and I text message each other every day just to check in. We blether on the phone often, and its never a short phone call. My friend, Jen, we met on the first day at university in Edinburgh when we were both 18. We’ve been firm friends since. We chat every Friday morning at length. I so enjoy these calls and have to admit they help keep me sane.

The last year for me has been difficult I won’t deny it. I have been over the threshold approximately half a dozen times and most of those occasions have been sheer necessity. I so miss being able to ask Steve to drive me over to visit my Dad. I miss going to my support meetings with The Ann Edgar Trust; so miss seeing the friends I’ve made and the support I get out of going. So for now I’m still content with my calls and other means of communications. My daily WhatsApp messages from Louise lets me know I have a loving caring friend, Stephen cracks me up with his comical wit on WhatsApp, he sends me not only messages to ask how we are doing but jokes, photos to make me laugh; he arranges online quizzes that we take part in on zoom. Lindsay Lou messages me with photos of the kids and tales, I so miss seeing them, suddenly Glasgow feels like the other side of the world.

I’m sure you have been affected this passed year in some way. Whether its physically or mentally, we have all been touched one way or another. Family and friends are important, keeping that line of contact is much more beneficial to some than others. What I have taken from this year is, yes it has been trying, but we have to remember restrictions are put in place for our own good and to save lives. During this pandemic a great deal of people have been diagnosed with this awful virus and sadly numerous folks around the world have died from it. Receiving messages, seeing familiar faces on my silver screen, receiving cards from my sister regularly by post, chatting on the phone, sharing news or a problem or five. I realise how lucky I am to know I am loved and cared for. Next time you pick up your phone to look up your social media pages or online shop, why don’t you give your family or friend a text or better still a phone call. It is so lovely to hear a friendly voice, share a chat; find out whats been going on in YOUR family/friend’s life. If you are going to do something nice today and think of others; do a good turn, please don’t say you don’t have time, life is good and far too short. Share something nice that happened today with someone. Please Pick up the phone – Its good to talk

Hello 2021

For many 2020 has been a difficult year, and certainly for most a memorable one; it has been a year like no other I have known. My hubby and I spent Hogmanay at home on our own. Just the two of us with our beautiful Labradors. This was the first time ever we have been alone to bring in the year and say Hello 2021.

I must say although very different from our usual ceilidh, our last night of the year was a fun packed one. We took part in a family and friends Zoom quiz. Stephen organised it. A busy young Dad with three kids; Stephen and son Louis were quiz masters. We had participants from near and far. Laughing, joking and talking was definitely allowed. We didn’t come first in the quiz but did not disgrace ourselves. Looking forward to the next one.

We are one week in to the new year. Eventful already.

The balloon on my gastrostomy tube burst on Hogmanay. Wonderful efficient staff, it was changed immediately. Six days later the tube was loose, my dressing was drenched. My ever dedicated medics attended to me, yes the balloon on the just short of one week old tube had exploded once again. Nicola changed my tube and then gave me my octreotide injection. This was then a day for complete rest.

To be honest despite the feeling unwell, and the pain. I have enjoyed being home. Sitting by the open fire with my beautiful labradors. Writing and editing. We are in a second lockdown. Yes, it’s a worrying time and I so miss being able to go see my Dad. Strange times my family and friends not coming to my house for a visit. We have to remember these restrictions have been put in place for our own good, to prevent infection from spreading and a big plus point is that we have a vaccine that is getting rolled out to the general public. It will take a while but as time allows we will be able to go out more, visit and one day in the future live a “normal life”.

For some life has been more challenging. It may be they are a key worker and things are getting tough. The usual “go to” place has gone, and talking with others feels trivial. Please try and remember this when someone is looking a little more weary than normal, or talking less than usual, ask how they are – it goes a long way. When a person says they are fine, it doesn’t mean they are doing well.

During this lockdown children at present have to stay home and get home schooled. For many families this works well. But for some life is hard. In many homes there are more computers, laptops, tablets than human beings in the house. In other homes there is one unit in the home or perhaps none at all. When the children are home schooling they get work from their teachers, there are programs on television. The internet plays a vital part in a child’s education. Hence the importance of a piece of equipment to get on the World Wide Web. It’s heartbreaking to think that in this day and age of digital technology that some families lack that availability in their own homes. If you have a laptop, computer, iPad, tablet that’s surplus to requirements please think about handing it in for someone else to use. There is always someone in your area that can use it. You can find out more about recycling your products Here

Whilst the restrictions carry on I will continue with my Content Writing and Editing work. I am so lucky that I enjoy doing it. Photography is my passion. For the time being I am pleased enough with taking photographs in our garden, snapping images of things in the house, pointing and shooting my beloved Nikon at my Labradors, I think they feel like fashion models. Although my husband’s Harley is a great bike for taking photos of. Today was a grand day. I sat at my desk in front of my computer, did work on a newsletter. Then took some photos of a little visitor out our back garden. I’m sure he will be a regular visitor. A beautiful little Robin.


Robin sits on our back fence

Santa Steve on his Harley-Davidson®

We may have differing opinions at the moment. Has the Government made the right call? Is the NHS doing a grand job? Should the kids be going to school? What really should be happening at Christmas. However, I think we can all agree to that regardless of our point of view everyone is needing a little festive cheer. Steve and I thought it would be a lovely idea to introduce to our community Santa Steve on his Harley-Davidson®

My husband and I don’t have the easiest of lives as many of my blog readers know. We have been through a lot in our nearly 55 years of life. Although the we both say we feel very lucky in life to still be in love after getting together in 1982. Absolutely blessed to live in such a fine county as East Lothian, even better that we have managed to secure a house in Boggs Holdings, Pencaitland and bring up our sons there, and now enjoy the sound of our grandchildren. The area is one of beauty and community supportive. Community spirit is important to Steve and I and we wanted to do something.

Since the start of the restrictions we haven’t been out on the Harley-Davidson® very much at all. In fact I have been at home and have only left the house on 7 occasions since April, and three of them were essential hospital visits. Steve has managed to take the bike out runs as and when social distancing allows; which has been great. We were talking about this and realised many people would be like me and would not have been out very much at all this year. Now as Christmas is approaching, children getting excited and looking forward to seeing Santa. There are many places parents cannot take their wee ones to see Santa this year due to the restrictions.

Steve and I are members of an organisation – this is the Dunedin Chapter is where many of us Harley owners get together and go runs together, etc. Seriously, a lot more to it than that. We love it. With the Chapter on Saturday Steve was going on the Santa toy run in Edinburgh – this is a charity run to drop off presents. He decided it may be a good idea to post on facebook to our local Pencaitland page would they like a drive by from Santa Steve in the afternoon after he had finished his charitable run with The Dunedin Chapter. Soon he got replies, Yes please.

I emailed the local police station, who were fantastic and called Steve right back that day. Gave him the authority to drive through the village. Bike dressed up in tinsel and lights, Steve in Santa suit. He left our home and I posted on Facebook he left. He drove through the village.

Steve was met with smiling faces and waving hands. I checked on Facebook; there were comments – where is “Santa Steve ?” “I’ve text you….” soon photos and videos were put up. And then comments of thanks.

The community spirit in the village brightened my day and lifted my heart. Thank you to all the children and adults who came out to see Santa Steve. I hope you all enjoyed Santa Steve on “Fattie Scot” : the Fatboy Harley-Davidson® dressed up in tinsel. I know he had a great time driving around the village and waving at you guys.

Merry Christmas and wishing all the best for 2021.

We had many many comments including:

Superstar Steve!

Thank you so much, Lots of excited wee ones thrilled to see Santa

Even us ‘big yins’ enjoy seeing Biker Santa around the village! well done and thank you! Merry Christmas

Fabulous idea, great fun, thanks for bringing some joy round the village

Thank you so much for doing that, absolutely magical. My little one won’t stop talking about you! Really cheered us up on this bad news day

Very happy kids (and me) even though the tiny tot was a bit unsure

Thank you for visiting Huntlaw Road! My daughter was very excited to see you

Thanks to u for visiting Limekilns

Thanks very much for doing that…… highlight of our kids day (mine too if I’m honest)

You looked and sounded the biz! Thanks for making the effort Steve

My kids were delighted!!!!!!!! thank you so much

I think we were your first at The Boggs, Thanks so much the kids absolutely loved it

Thank you very much, we saw you from a far and there was mass excitement at our house!

Thank you it was brilliant, such a lovely thing to do

Thanks from Pringles Place. My kids loved it

Thank you for coming by the Green! My 5 year old daughter was DELIGHTED to see you!! Merry Christmas Santa Steve

Lovely Steve

Well done Santa! A much needed bit of cheer!

Thank you the kids were delighted, at this time anything that brings a smile to a kid’s face is well worth it

Such a lovely kind thing to do for the kids! Thanks so much Steve. Merry Christmas to you

Thank you my wee granddaughter Mia was chuffed to get fist bump at Queens Drive

Saw you from the window at old farm court & really appreciated it! You’re a star and sure all the little ones loved it. Merry Christmas

My kids at Woodhall loved it! Thank you very much

It was fab

THANK YOU

Thankful for my smartphone

As we approach the latter months of the year I have become more and more grateful for technology. In particular my Apple laptop, smartphone and iPad. Whether, it has been a FaceTime GP call, a hospital appointment or a chat with a family member, my iPhone has been invaluable. When the lump on my shoulder caused my home nurse concern, first a photo taken from my phone, emailed to my GP, then a FaceTime call so she could see it, then decided it did warrant a GP visit and examination. Fabulous camera on the phone, such great photos you get from it. I’m so Thankful for my smartphone

I have my smartphone linked to my MacBook and my iPad. When I take a photo or put an entry in the diary on the phone it goes into both the laptop and the iPad too. I love to take photographs. Photography is a great passion of mine. One of the most relaxing activities for me is to pull out my Nikon camera and shoot some images. However, if I am standing at the back of the house watching my beautiful 4 year old granddaughter and our labradors taking my phone out of my pocket at an opportune moment to capture a memory. This week is my octreotide treatment week, belt and braces, it’s in the diary in my phone; alarm set on on phone to go off 40 minutes before my nurse is due, so I can take it out of the fridge. It’s much easier to administer and more comfortable if it’s not too cold. Nothing worse than a freezing cold substance going into your hip area. I don’t have much fat or muscle on me as it is. My make up is pretty bony now and the thick needles are getting kinda sore as they go in. But what I have to remember is no pain no gain. If it wasn’t for these injections I probably wouldn’t be here today. They reduce the rate of bowel motions incredibly, I no longer look like a Ribena kid all day long and its pretty well proven they slow down the growth of net cancer. All in all bloody good job I would say. And most certainly worth the pain in the ass they give you.


Buddy and Bella with Alexandra

Since the middle of March life has became very different. The arrival of Covid-19. Lockdown, restrictions to the way we live, finding a new normal. For the time being at least.

I use my phone and iPad to have chats with my family and friends. Not only your traditional blether but the most fabulous video calls. We laugh, sing, play games; a telephone call has never been so much fun. On my laptop and iPad I keep in touch with friends from my support group, TAECT we have general chats, quiz days, information talks. I also keep in touch with my motorcycle friends at The Dunedin Chapter. To take part in quizzes, talks, chats, etc we use Zoom

Technology has been my lifeline over the last seven months. I haven’t had many visitors. I have only visited my dad on two occasions since March. Going out of my front door doesn’t happen very often and seeing people in the flesh is something of a novelty at the moment. Ive taken to talking to anything that looks interested and stands still long enough to listen; for instance yesterday morning I was sitting on the sofa wrestling with my slippers, the table lamp to my left was my conversation buddy, mind you I got the right kind of answers, I guess he agreed with me, I got a silent reply I took this as an acknowledgement of approval.

My other method of keeping in touch with family and friends is social media platforms. Linkden Twitter, Facebook and Instagram are the ones I use. Fabulous for keeping in touch, sharing information, posting articles, photos, etc. I use the messenger to chat. I also use WhatsApp. A good way of communicating with chums. We share stories, snaps, etc. A great way of cheering each other up especially when the mood is low.

Whilst my technology is great for communication and keeping me in touch with the outside world whilst I am shielding. The laptop, iPad and phone also have been used in more than I thought they would be.

During these difficult times many banks have closed their doors. Leaving many of us to online bank more than we used to. Me, I have banked online for what feels like a lifetime. My health before covid forced me to make changes, so I guess I have found it fairly easy to adapt. I use my laptop, iPad and smartphone to bank. However, I have to admit the app on the smartphone for the Natwest Bank https://personal.natwest.com/personal.html is so easy and convenient to use.

I use my Phone to order shopping, order my prescriptions from the GP, order the feed needed for the month from Nutricia to keep me going with through the gastrostomy tube.

Checking emails and going online is so easy with my smartphone. One click and Im there. Its so easy to download apps. https://www.apple.com/uk/ios/app-store/ There are so many different apps, something for everyone, from games to weather. Have a look, and give something new a try. It really does brighten your day.

When I first got a mobile telephone it was for work, it was to answer calls and check up on how MY patients were doing. That feels like another lifetime ago. Now I use my smartphone as a tool, to go on the internet, check my emails, send messages, take photographs, occasionally let my granddaughter play a game, oh and of course make a telephone call.

Sponsoring a hearing dog

A couple of years ago when my granddaughter then 2 had her first playdate at our house with my very close friend, Danielle’s daughter, Ella both girls played and had fun like all toddlers do. However as young as Alexandra was at the time she was caring and compassionate enough to notice that Ella was different from her. Ella is deaf, she has cochlear implants. Little did I know this first playdate would lead to us Sponsoring a hearing dog.

The girls at that young age played in the sitting room with toys and formed a bond. Two years later they are running up and down my hall laughing and shouting with dolls in their hands. When Ella left with her mum and dad Alexandra asked me about Danielle and us being friends. I told her we have been friends for a very long time, and told her you look after each other no matter what when you are good friends. I told her Danielle sends me messages and phones me to ask how I am. She visits. We all have fun, and now brings Ella to come see her. We spoke about Ella’s deafness, she said it must be horrible not being able to hear everything all the time Granny I am so sad for her. I told her not to be sad and look at how happy Ella is with her family and when she plays at ours. I think this helped.

It was raining on a Saturday afternoon and Alexandra was visiting with her Dad. She likes to be like Granny and type a story on the laptop. I had been on social media just prior to her going to use my laptop. She takes a seat beside me, she patiently waits till I close my pages. On the timeline of my facebook page there was an advertisement for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People. Oh look Granny, a Labrador like yours, but its black, says Alexandra. This stops me in my tracks. I look at what she is noticing. I close the page and let her type away.


Alexandra checks the new puppy over


Later that evening I go on the site Hearing Dogs for Deaf People and sponsor the black Labrador Winnie. This money will go towards training the puppy and will help change a deaf person’s life.

The Box of Gifts for Sponsorship



Ella and Alexandra


Alexandra & Ella


Ella & Alexandra ready to go in the garden


Alexandra now has a beautiful little cuddly pup with the familiar maroon jacket on. As soon as she opened the box she looked at all the paperwork quickly, lovely photos Granny. She quickly takes out the cuddly dog, runs along the hall and comes back with a stethoscope we need to check this puppy over. She loves the idea of having a notebook book and pen, so like my Mother. The certificate and postcards are brilliant. Alexandra has already looked up the website and seen other photos of Winnie and progression videos, her out walking, etc. It’s fantastic. Helping the charity, putting a good dog to work and most importantly helping someone who needs it – match them up with a dog and giving them valuable lifelines at times, for example Winnie will alert her new owner if the smoke alarm is going off, if there is a sound coming from the baby monitor.


Alexandra in her scrubs


Puppy gets his jags

I know how much I value my labradors. My lad, Buddy knows when my cancer is misbehaving. When my blood sugar has dropped too low. If my heart rate is wonky. Carries my feed items. Bella the companion Labrador, she is a treat to have, carries clothes to washing machine. Carries items along our 40 foot hall. Some days it can be a long walk for me.

If you have ever thought about sponsoring a dog I can highly recommend it. As someone who depends on a dog I know how valuable they are. I also live with a hubby that has issues with his eyes. He has had 10 surgeries to his eyes for detachment to his retina. He really is extraordinary. He pushes himself. Tries hard, still works, has a wonderful vision in life.

Acts of kindness during Covid restrictions


Our new normal way of life can be difficult to live with at times, but we have to remember it is for our own good. People in various areas have different rules. Depending on where you live, what you do for a living and how your health is determines what you can and cannot do. What has made my life so much easier throughout this difficult period are Acts of kindness during Covid restrictions https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus

In the last few months I have sat back and read my social media pages, looked at what my ‘friends’ have written. Some posts have been entertaining and cheered me up, others have been sad and have made me grateful for what I have in my life.

Since the beginning of the restrictions I have been privileged to get thoughtful gifts, letters by post, flowers, texts, telephone calls, emails, FaceTime calls, etc. For this I would like to say thank you.

My most wonderful husband has been an ultimate star throughout. He has worked running his busy business as well as chasing after me, catering to any whim I may have. I try my best to be self sufficient, but I will admit I need by knight in shining armour to take charge in times of need. Steve has done such lovely cheer up things; my most favourite jeans started to get worse for wear, he sought out online not only a pair of my likeable Levi 501 in waist 23, but even managed to get the extra short leg – boy was I beaming. I’m always a freezing cold human bean – so delivered a pair of slippers wool slipper boots with a rubber soul from Denmark Oh my goodness my feet are so warm now.

My children, Tony and Stuart, their other halves and my grandchildren have been ultimate stars. Telephoning, FaceTime calls, texting, sending photos, etc. Nothing better than an excitable FaceTime call telling me all about their day. Love getting the progress news how the university is coming along. Getting texts saying morning Granny how are you? hope you have a good day, love you xxx. Make me feel so loved and warm inside. Video progression of the grandchildren makes me smile, sometimes laugh, always warms my heart and most definitely helps for not getting the visits like we used to.

Faithful Buddy

My sister Hazel sends me letters and cards by post. Its so lovely when I hear the postman drive up our chipped driveway, the crunch of the stone chips as he stops. He get out as usual and puts the mail through the door. Faithful Buddy goes with me to get whats arrived. I recognise my sisters writing, in the envelope is a card and some beautiful photographs of my grandchildren, myself, my lads, and my Dad. She tells me how much she misses coming to see me, our sisterly blethers on the sofa with the dogs at our feet. Some days thats just what we all need to hear. To know how much we are loved.

Cards from Hazel, flowers from Louise

Friday is chat with Jenny day. We met the first day at university and have been firm friends since. I so miss her coming over to visit at the moment with the restrictions being on a tighter leash at the moment. Fingers crossed they will change for the better and she will be able to visit soon. We could meet up outside, but for me its too cold. So for now, texting, whats app and Friday chat day will suffice.

I message and get messages from my sister, Helen and brothers Albert and Brian. We chat regularly keep each other up to date. So miss seeing my Daddy Bear.

One of the grand puppies


On top of the people already mentioned, there are an array of family and friends that have been supportive, giving me a phone, dropping a text, sending a message, etc, etc. Examples include My niece Lindsay sends me the most loving messages and photos of the children, love that girl right over our rainbow. Long time sister pal Liz and I talk on the phone and send each other messages. Sally, little toots from http://www.salspals.co.uk sends the most wonderful cheer up messages and photos of Harley boy. Louise messages me every day, love the photos of Gunner and Harris, received beautiful lilies the other day from her. I miss her popping in for a cuppa and us having a natter. Every morning I get a text message from minister friend Janice. We share other messages throughout the day and a couple of times per month we chat on the phone. Janice is inspirational and caring. Diane and Mark have been keeping me updated with stunning photos of Buddy and Bella’s grand puppies.

Social media is a great point of communication for any of us. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes looking down ones timeline to find out what’s going on in the outside world. I enjoy sharing information and have fun & banter with fellow members, from our Harley Davidson group at The Dunedin Chapter http://Www.dunedinhog.com. I have made great friends at the Chapter. Steve and I have missed out on going to bike events this year, however we are keeping up the chat with our buddies on Facebook I also get support from Scotland’s Net Cancer Charity, http://www.taect.scot for now they offer zoom meetings, online chat, quiz, Facebook page. I really miss seeing my pals, we text each other personally too and catch up on each other’s news. There really isn’t any need to be lonely if you are willing to work at it.

There was an act of kindness that touched my heart at the beginning of August that will stay with me forever. My nurse Evelyn that comes in to the house is an absolute trooper. All the nurses that come to the house are fabulous. My amazing nurses change my dressings, tend to my gastrostomy tube, give injections, flu jabs, my octreotide treatment. Health wise they do anything and everything. One day at the end of July when I was chatting to Evelyn I told her I thought I would look online and see if I could get a washable colourful cotton face mask. We blether about all sorts of things, sometimes it’s good to talk away from health, not about me, just about life, having some fun, ‘the doing things’ . The following week Evelyn came to our house. It was a Wednesday, full service day. Gastrostomy checked, balloon water changed, dressings changed, etc. And then a big beauty of a needle for my octreotide treatment. After everything was done and dusted. Evelyn lifted her jacket under it was a present. Beautifully wrapped and in a lovely little presentation bag. This is for you, she said as she handed me the bag. I eagerly looked in. The most delightful handmade cotton face masks. Matching children and adult ones. And ever so special to me zebra ones. What an absolutely thoughtful gift. Someone who is working full time in such a strained and stressful environment, in these difficult times. Taking time out to make the masks touched me. Made me feel very happy. They are useful, look great and I really like them.

My granddaughter Alex and me in masks made by Evelyn

Since March life has put on a different hat. We have had to learn a new normal. I’m a glass half full gal. I so appreciate the people in life that have made my life so much easier by the generous acts of kindness during Covid restrictions. Please remember when you are sitting on social media watching a video, or your feet up glued to a soap opera on Tv – think about dropping a mate a text, or give them a call just to say hi. Five minutes out of your day can make someone’s a really special one.


































































































































































































































































































































































































































































NC500 Virtual walk

Since March we have had lockdown, restrictions, a new way of life. And I do believe we need to get used to it. This coronavirus isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Some of my normal life still happens; my nurses come in and look after me. I get my awful needles injected into me for my treatment. I still enjoy writing very much, , making up stories and doing charcoal drawings, taking photographs, snuggling into my beautiful labradors. Trying my best to live life with a half full glass. I do miss getting out on the harley with Steve, going to see our friends at the Dunedin Chapter http://www.dunedinhog.com, and I miss my meetings at The Ann Edgar Charitable Trust http://www.taect.scot. Ive been inspired by walkers, and triers in life, so when Jean ann from The Dunedin Chapter set up a virtual walk for charity I decided to take part. This little piggy is donating money and taking part in the NC500 Virtual walk.

The idea is members of our chapter can register to take part in the event, we walk on our own, walk as little or as much as we want and are able. Basically it is a virtual north coast 500. We take note of our mileage, pay £1 for each mile walked. Someone like my sister, Hazel who has registered is very fit, walks many miles per week, she will clock in the miles. I’m proud of my sister she will do well. As my hubby Steve, he walks many miles in a day, he thinks nothing of walking 8 miles. Me, I love walking, its just a struggle. Imagine carrying a rucksack on your back filled with sand, you are walking up a steady incline and it gradually gets steeper and you begin to feel the strain. This is many a day for me. You can feel your heart beating and the thumping in your ears is getting louder. The beads of sweat appear on your forehead and you know its time to take a breather. Its all about pacing oneself and knowing my limits.

I have my sidekick most of the time. Buddy the fox red Labrador. He knows when the nets/carcinoid syndrome are playing up. He is clever enough to work out when the blood sugar is dropping below 3, or when my heart rate is beating too fast or going so slow it needs some intervention. He is my knight in shining armour. Buddy and our other Labrador Bella will be walking with me.

Buddy and me

Dunedin Chapter do a lot for charity, as members we raise a lot of money for charity throughout the year. This walk will raise money and it will go in the charity pot. Me personally, as well as doing the walk, I will put £1 in every day until the end of the event. I intend to walk 1 mile every day. There are 50 days left, which means I will put £50 in. My reasoning we have been given the privilege of one year free membership to Dunedin, so this is my contribution, giving £50 to the charity pot.

I got a delightful message from a Dunedin member and friend Scott Anderson. Scott and his wife Shirley, both members, both ride Harleys. The message asked how I am and noted that I am doing the virtual walk and they would like to sponsor me. They said the reason they chose me is because they have absolute respect for me doing it and they know that it will be a huge effort for me.

When I read this I could have cried. We have only known Scott and Shirley this riding season, but already they have become firm friends. You know when you get that feeling about folk.

Buddy in training

Sometimes we choose to sit on our bums and complain, do nothing with our lives. I prefer, the hard life, the trying. That thought when I’m out doing something and I need to stop for a rest and I think why the hell am I putting myself through this, oh yes that great feeling of reward and friendship.

Life is a journey; mine is wonderful folks; be all you can be xx

Drive through Edinburgh

After my appointment at The Western General Hospital in Edinburgh my hubby was patiently waiting for me. He picked me up in the convenient pick up drop off area outside the hospital. We usually go together, however do to Covid, I was restricted to going myself. We made our way out of the hospital grounds and got ready for our Drive through Edinburgh.

As we drove along Crew Road there were works getting done and the road was closed towards orchard brae forcing us to turn left. We made our way along the road and passed the police training college, saw a couple of dogs in the field and then passed Broughton High School, I had a memory of going to the old Broughton High for health promotion talks, and remember proudly going to the police college with Arthur, when he got a commendation award; what a lovely day that was.

Driving through Stockbridge. The sun was shining, there were hanging baskets flowering beautifully outside many of the elegant Victorian and Georgian houses. This bustling vibrant area on the water of Leith is filled with speciality and charity shops, and delightful cafes and pubs. I love Stockbridge; the new town is my favourite area of Edinburgh. If I lived in Auld Reekie this is the locality I would choose to live in.



Cruising along George Street I saw the changes that were happening over time. What establishments are still here, and what has ‘disappeared’ from the high street. The Standing Order was the first building that jumped out at me. All over the world there will be many well known financial institutions that are now coffee shops, or pubs or restaurants, somewhere for folk to sit and chat. Rest their weary bones and share a story or two along with a drink.


As I headed to Southside Edinburgh, I passed a block of flats that were on a corner site in Newington area. This site used to be a Ford Garage that my sister worked in the accounts department. My friend rented a bedsit on the main road when we were at university.

Gosh Helen finished up at the Garage over 40 years ago and Jennifer rented the bedsit in the mid 1980’s. Jennifer visited me yesterday I was telling her about my journey and reminiscing, we started chatting about her accommodation hunting when she came down from Calendar to study in Edinburgh…….

Jennifer and I met at uni, we became friends the first day of term and have been stuck with each other since. Jennifer came down from Calendar and needed accommodation, the uni gave her some recommendations. She came to my parents armed with this A4 piece of paper. We were going to the addresses. My brother Albert dropped us at the first place on the list, it was near the shopping centre, he would go shopping we would view the room. Oh my goodness; the room was ok, very basic, shared facilities which werent so nice, and the room mates were less desirable. So lets just say this place was a big fat no. We tried a few other places on the uni’s recommendation. Absolutely non suitable. My Mum brought out The Scotsman. https://www.scotsman.com We looked in it, there was an ad for a Letting company in Home Street, Edinburgh.

Off we went to Home Street. We walked in to this office with a white haired lady with 2 dogs surrounded with so much paperwork. I actually felt like I was going for a seance. I can tell you Jennifer and I felt frightened, why we didn’t know. The business was ‘real’, the staff were genuine, informative and very pleasant. And they had dogs, something I especially love. I think it was just the fact that the white haired lady was rather eccentric. The room had a creepy feel. However, the lady was very kind to us, she explained what properties she had on the books and what she thought was suitable. She explained locations and terms of payment etc. She thought the room at Newington would be suitable, told us there were already some young ladies in the building and the location is lovely. Big bonus, the landlord was a really nice man. We were sold. Sounded ideal for Jen.

We made our way from Tollcross to Newington. Met by a raven headed gentleman. True to her words. The whole property was in good condition. The bedsit on the ground floor had its own kitchen, it was ideal. No sharing, no messy dishes, etc. Jennifer decided to rent it. As friends it was ideal, not too far from uni and only about 3 miles from my parents house.

Many properties have changed hands over the years and places we have got comfortable going to are no longer there. However, many of these alterations are good news and society is reaping the benefits both socially and economically. As the saying goes out with the old and in with the new.